I’m re-reading ‘Year of Yes’ by Shonda Rhimes. I thought it would be a fun read to enjoy during my downtime.
As it turns out, it has been an incredible and impactful read.
Shonda is an amazing writer….duh! I mean she has what like 50 TV shows running right now? (For those of you who don’t know her, she’s the creator of Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, and Bridgerton, just to name a few.)
In her very personal book, Year of Yes, her honesty and authenticity is just so REAL. If you haven’t read it, give it a try. You will find yourself laughing out loud….a lot! I promise.
So I’m reading the book and she starts talking about how women can not take a compliment. We’re embarrassed. We don’t know how to handle it. We’d rather just hide under the table rather than being acknowledged for being great at something. Or for accomplishing something important to us.
Mind you, I’m reading this chapter while I’m in Santa Barbara this week for a best seller party of Mindset Matters, a book that I co-authored with Jack Canfield.
Have I mentioned that I co-authored a best selling book?
I know I market it all the time, but I really don’t talk about it at all to friends or family….or even to myself. In fact, I’ve really swept it under the rug as if it is really no big deal.
You know, it’s not a big deal that I spent the last full year working on this project.
Putting my heart and soul out there for all to read and see.
Not a big deal that this is the first best seller I’ve been involved with!
What is WRONG with me?
Why aren’t I celebrating? Why aren’t I dancing in the streets? (Or at least in my living room?)
Why aren’t I breaking out the champagne?
This all occurs to me as I’m reading Shonda’s book. Because I didn’t even consider it before then.
And then I start thinking about my past achievements.
Yep, I did the same thing. Don’t want other people to think I think too much of myself. And I surely don’t want to be seen as overly confident or stuck up.
And then I realize that other women do this too. Men? Not so much. For some reason, the world is fully ok with them singing from the rooftops when something good happens in their career. But us women start to shrink when something good happens to us.
It’s like we have to make ourselves small in order for others to be comfortable.
That is such nonsense!
So as I’m sitting on the bed in my hotel room I decide that I’m going to really enjoy this party. I get to meet Jack Canfield in person! And I get to finally meet all of the other co-authors as well. To mark the occasion, I’ve dressed in a black cocktail dress with gold heels and I’ve brought Her…my new Chanel bag along for the ride. I mean, how often do I get to attend a best seller party for my own book?
But the party fell flat.
Only 8 of the 23 co-authors (including Jack) made it to Santa Barbara. And 8 people a party does not make.
But, it did give us more personal time with Jack.
I got my picture taken with him and our book. I also got an autographed copy of my book by Jack. And we got photos of all of us with him cutting a cake which was a replica of the book! All pretty darn cool.
In the beginning of the gathering, Jack said a few words.
Now, this man has just turned 80 years old. And he looks great! And he still works a ton! From an outsiders perspective, he doesn’t seem to have slowed down one bit. I get emails from him and his company all the time of seminars he conducting, speaking events, and new projects that he is spearheading.
But his message to us was to slow down and enjoy our life.
He was just now realizing that he has not been doing that very much. Oh, he loves his work and it is very fulfilling, but having fun just for the sake of fun, has not been his focus.
So he talked about balance. He spoke of the importance of fun. He talked about peeling off a few commitments to make more time for fun. And he talked about enjoying our moments here and now.
And I’m going to add….we should also enjoy our successes and mark them!
I started this book project last Fall. And during that year’s time, there were weeks of crazy deadlines and writing non-stop. And then there were edits and re-writes. There was also many weeks of just waiting. And then finally the book came out in August.
It’s now October 6th, and you know something? I haven’t celebrated. I haven’t really stopped to acknowledge this big win that I never expected to have in my life.
So I want to thank Shonda Rhimes for her honesty and for admitting her challenge with this too. Because it woke me up.
The champagne is coming out!! It is time to celebrate.
What event, goal, accomplishment, or accolade have you ignored? Even if it was 10 or 15 years ago, you need to mark it….to celebrate your win.
I’m a champagne girl, so I’m popping the bubbly. But perhaps your celebration will look different: a bubble bath, a day trip to a spa, a walk in the park with a pumpkin latte.
No matter…(although if I may say so, you’re missing out on the bubbly).
It’s time we all be seen. Not as a pompous ass. But as an authentic human being who put themselves out there, worked hard, and accomplished their goal.
You no longer need to play small.
The world is learning how to accept strong and accomplished women.
And the world needs more of them.
Here’s to your successes and your big wins.
I’m so very proud of you. And I’m proud of myself too. Cheers! 🥂
You can Emerge Positive!
Positively,
deanne
Emerge Positive is dedicated to improving mental health, culture, and productivity in the workplace. Go here to learn more about how Connect by Emerge Positive® can help. Or email me directly at [email protected]. I’d love to hear from you!
