Sometimes the door doesn’t just close — it slams.
I’ve been there. I’ve been laid off, restructured and ghosted by opportunities I thought were mine.
It feels deeply personal.
And it hurts. Failure does.
I recently read that we are in the season of layoffs. That seemed crazy to me when I read it, but then I realized I had been laid off at this time of year too.
Knowing there have been thousands of people laid off recently, today’s You Can Emerge Positive newsletter is about dealing with the feeling of failure. To help you reframe what is happening in your life so that you can shift your mindset from a place of pain or negativity to one of promise and hope.
I know that may seem impossible now, but as someone who has been in your shoes… I can say with absolute certainty that it is indeed possible.
The Default Reaction: Shame or Panic
When faced with failure – whether that be a job layoff or the end of a relationship, most of us go straight to What did I do wrong?
When my marriage ended, I couldn’t get out of the failure/shame spiral.
I never thought I’d be the one in my family going through a divorce and yet there it was. There was no where to hide and no one to blame, so I blamed myself.
It took me a couple of years before I could see the gift that came with the ‘failure’ of marriage.
A similar thing happened to me with my career lay off. It was part of a company sale and I was told it wasn’t personal. But boy, did it feel personal.
And although I was ready to make a change, initially I had a very hard time figuring out my new identity. I had spent years hiding behind the shield of Warner Bros.
So much so, that I had wrapped who I was around it.
It took almost a year to untangle my identity from that job.
So if you’re coming off of a relationship or a career and are dealing with shame, fear or questioning your value and worth; know this is all a normal part of your journey.
What If It’s a Redirection?
I have said it often….my divorce was the worst and best thing to ever happen to me in my life.
It sucked going through it. I had many many painful nights and days filled with sadness and tears. Failure was a very hard pill for me to swallow.
The same with my job layoff. Questioning my value and worth while also figuring out my identity was heavy. And it took a lot of me. (I remember lots of naps in that season of life).
But I’ve learned since then that our failures are really just life pushing us in a new direction.
When I heard Oprah say that in a mediation, it was a ‘a-ha moment’ for me.
Because we get comfortable, don’t we? So much so that we stay in the job or the relationship beyond the point we should. It seems so much worse to make the change and move….even if we really want to.
I believe to my core that Everything Happens With Perfect Timing.
The key to walking in this season of life – of failure – is to Trust The Process.
We must trust the process of life and not live in resistance. This is what causes us all of our strife, pain, and suffering. When we trust the process, we can let go knowing that we are fully supported in all ways.
You know the saying, when one door closes a window opens?
I know that’s cringe, but it happens to be true. If you are willing to be open to the idea that life is moving you to where you are meant to be, you will experience it.
👉🏻Is there something you’ve been waiting for? A dream? A desire that you’ve put off? Maybe this is your time….. Maybe this layoff or change in your life is just giving you the push you need to take the leap.
Realignment, Not Ruin
Once I stopped being angry and shameful about my failure (job & divorce) I was able to ask myself, what is the learning here? What is the gift I’m supposed to take with me in creating the next chapter of my life?
My divorce led me to a spiritual teacher that I worked with for 7 years, completely changing the trajectory of my life. And every aspect of it improved for the better.
The job layoff led me to work on Emerge Positive full time. It’s my passion and my purpose and I’m so grateful to be doing what I do.
Steve Jobs famously said in a commencement speech that life has a string attaching all life events to it. You can look back over your life and see how the dots connected. That string continues into your future, you just can’t see it.
Trust the Process.
Beyond by Emerge Positive™
If you’re in the middle of a redirection — or just feel that inner nudge that something’s got to shift — Beyond by Emerge Positive™ is a space where we’re talking about exactly that.
Not just what you do for work, but what you’re here for.
Membership opens December 1st. If you’re interested in learning more, go here.
When I’m struggling, I have a friend that always lifts me up because she enviably will remind me: Everything Happens With Perfect Timing.
That truth always finds me when I need it most.
You Can Emerge Positive!
Positively,
deanne
💌 Beyond by Emerge Positive™ is coming soon! Here’s how you can learn more.
