Over the past few weeks, a topic has come up repeatedly in conversations I’ve had with women inside Beyond by Emerge Positive, clients, and even fellow entrepreneurs.
Loneliness.
Not necessarily the kind of loneliness that comes from being physically alone, but the kind that can show up when you’re carrying a lot, navigating change, or trying to build something meaningful without many people around you who truly understand what you’re experiencing.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized how common this feeling has become in midlife.
When we’re younger, friendships often happen naturally. We meet people through school, work, our children’s activities, neighborhood gatherings, and the everyday rhythm of life. We don’t necessarily have to think about building community because we’re constantly surrounded by opportunities to connect.
But somewhere along the way, that changes.
Children grow up. Careers shift. Some of us leave corporate jobs and start businesses. Friends move away. Life gets busy. Responsibilities increase. Before we know it, we can find ourselves feeling more isolated than we ever expected, even when our lives appear full from the outside.
Many women have shared that one of the hardest parts of this season of life is finding meaningful friendships and genuine connection. Not surface-level conversations. Not acquaintances. Real relationships with people who understand where you are, what you’re navigating, and who you are becoming.
And honestly, I understand.
As an entrepreneur, there are moments when I feel incredibly grateful for the work I get to do. I love writing this newsletter. I love coaching. I love creating programs and building a business that aligns with my purpose. But there are also days when entrepreneurship feels surprisingly lonely.
When you work for yourself, there isn’t a team down the hall. There aren’t coworkers to grab lunch with. There isn’t a built-in community surrounding your day. Many decisions are made alone. Many challenges are worked through alone. Many victories are celebrated quietly.
I’ve come to realize that entrepreneurs aren’t the only people who experience this feeling.
I think many women in midlife do as well.
We are often carrying a lot. We may be supporting aging parents, navigating changes in our marriages, adjusting to an empty nest, thinking about retirement, managing health concerns, questioning our next chapter, or wondering what we truly want the next decade of our lives to look like.
And while each of those experiences is different, they often share one thing in common:
We can feel like we’re figuring it all out by ourselves.
The older I get, the more I realize that we were never meant to do life alone. We need connection.
We need people who encourage us when we forget our own strength. We need people who celebrate our wins, listen to our struggles, challenge us when we’re settling, and remind us that we’re not the only ones asking hard questions about life.
Connection doesn’t remove our challenges, but it often makes those challenges easier to carry.
Perhaps that’s one of the reasons community has become so important to me over the past few years. It’s not because anyone has all the answers. It’s because there is something powerful about sitting across from another person and hearing them say, “Me too.”
Those two words can instantly make us feel less alone.
Connection Rarely Happens by Accident Anymore
One thing I’ve realized is that community doesn’t happen as naturally in midlife as it did when we were younger. Most of us are no longer walking into classrooms, starting new jobs every few years, or attending our children’s activities every weekend. If we want meaningful connection, we often have to create opportunities for it.
That might mean reaching out to someone you’ve been meaning to call. It might mean joining a group, attending an event, saying yes to an invitation, or introducing yourself to someone new. It might even mean being the person who extends the invitation instead of waiting for someone else to make the first move.
The truth is that meaningful friendships are rarely built overnight. They are built one conversation, one coffee, one walk, and one shared experience at a time.
And while putting yourself out there can feel uncomfortable, so can continuing to feel disconnected.
Sometimes the first step toward finding your people is simply deciding to be a little more intentional about connection. Because the friendships we long for in midlife often begin with a small act of courage.
So this week, I want to leave you with a question:
Do you have people in your life who truly know you?
People you can call when you’re struggling.
People you can celebrate with when something wonderful happens.
People who encourage your growth rather than simply maintaining who you’ve always been.
And if the answer is no, please know that you’re not alone in that either.
Building meaningful friendships and community in midlife may take more intention than it once did, but it is absolutely worth the effort.
Because no matter what season of life we’re in, one thing remains true:
Life is better when we don’t have to navigate it alone.
Positively,
Deanne
Ps. If today’s newsletter hit home for you, I recorded a podcast episode on this very topic called How to Stop Feeling Lonely, Especially in Midlife. In it, I talk more about why loneliness can show up during this season of life and, more importantly, what we can do to create greater connection and community.
