Last weekend, I had a brand new photo shoot for the You Can Emerge Positive podcast.
I needed fresh images for the website, YouTube, newsletters, social media…the whole brand.
It should have been exciting.
And it was. But it was also surprisingly emotional.
Just before we started shooting, I had one of those intense hot flashes that seemed to come out of nowhere. Within minutes I felt overheated, uncomfortable, and honestly…not very confident. I felt gross. It’s amazing how quickly our minds can begin creating stories about ourselves.
Then the photos started.
As they always do, they captured something that mirrors never quite seem to capture.
When Karen, my photographer, showed me a few photos on her laptop, I found myself thinking something I’ve heard countless women say…
Who is that?
Because here’s the strange thing about getting older.
Inside…
I don’t feel 56.
I feel about 37.
Curious. Hopeful. Ambitious. Still excited about building something meaningful. I still laugh at the same things. Dream about the future. Get excited over new ideas.
The woman inside hasn’t changed nearly as much as the woman looking back at me in those photographs. Maybe that’s why getting older can feel so disorienting. The woman we see in the mirror keeps changing, while the woman we feel like inside often hasn’t.
If you’re nodding your head right now, you’re not alone.
Why We Feel Younger Than We Are
I’ve talked to enough women to know this isn’t unique.
Many of us carry around an internal age that feels frozen somewhere in time.
Maybe it’s 35.
Maybe it’s 42.
Maybe it’s the age when life felt most like you.
Meanwhile, birthdays continue arriving every year, quietly moving us into a number that sometimes feels impossible to claim.
It’s a strange disconnect. Our spirit often doesn’t age nearly as fast as our body does. And when those two don’t seem to line up, it can leave us feeling confused…or even disappointed. (If I’m being honest, lately I’ve been falling on the disappointed side.)
A Different Way to See It
As I sat with those photos for a while, something shifted. I realized I had been comparing my 56-year-old body to my 37-year-old self. Of course that comparison ends badly. No one wins that game.
Instead, I started asking a different question:
What if I stopped trying to become my younger self…and focused on becoming the healthiest, strongest, most vibrant 56-year-old I can be?
That question changed everything.
It didn’t change how I looked.
It changed how I looked at myself.
Because the truth is…
I don’t actually want to be 37 again. I don’t want the uncertainty. The people-pleasing. The lack of confidence. The constant striving.
I’d gladly keep the wisdom I’ve earned. I’d gladly keep the perspective that only time can teach. I simply want my body to reflect the energy I still feel inside.
And for the first time in a long time, that feels empowering instead of discouraging.
Your Best Years Aren’t Behind You
That photo shoot unexpectedly became a turning point for me. Not because I suddenly loved every picture. But because I finally stopped wishing for a younger version of myself.
Instead, I made a commitment:
To get stronger.
To nourish my body.
To protect my health.
To build muscle.
To care for myself with the same intention I pour into building Emerge Positive.
Because here’s what I’ve realized…I’m not trying to erase my age. I’m trying to fully live it. Maybe that’s what growing older is really asking of us.
Not to become younger…but to become more fully ourselves.
And perhaps that’s the real opportunity. Not to chase who we used to be. But to become someone our younger self would be incredibly proud to grow into.
So that’s my commitment as we head into August. Not to become younger. Not to chase who I used to be. But to become the healthiest, strongest, most vibrant version of the woman I am today.
If you’ve been feeling that same disconnect between the age you feel inside and the woman you see in the mirror…
Maybe you’ll join me.
Let’s stop wishing we were younger.
Let’s start living like our best years are still unfolding.
Because I truly believe they are.
And if you need someone to walk that journey with…I’m right beside you.
You Can Emerge Positive!
Positively,
Deanne
