I have always been a Type A person. As a young adult, I liked to know what was happening way in advance, I liked organization (to a fault), I was a stickler for time management and being on time, and I liked feeling in control.
So the good thing was I took responsibility for my life. But where I was wrong is that I thought I could control it all. Through planning and execution, I could create the life I wanted, right?
Not so much.
I learned in my early 30’s that I do in fact NOT have control over the world and my life. And I learned this by falling flat on my face and feeling the humiliation and pain that went with it. Incidentally, I think we all learn the best when we are down on your knees (or in a face plunge, as I was).
Fast forward several years….after much coaching and deep internal work with a spiritual teacher, I learned that it’s ok to not be in control. I learned to let go and trust the process.
And let me tell you, it was one of the hardest things I have done. Because when you are living with the illusion that you can control everything, it’s hard to put that down. You feel unsafe. You feel vulnerable. You feel small. (All of which by the way, we are not).
Remember the team exercises you’ve done with friends or colleagues where you free fall backward and trust the person will catch you? That’s how I felt. Except it was more like jumping off a cliff and not being able to see what was below. It. Was. Scary.
It took time. But eventually, I let go. I did it in little pieces of my life. I think my finances and love life were the final two pieces that I desperately clung to to keep in my full control. But when I did finally succumb, I felt free. Truly and completely free. And supported. And like nothing I thought I would feel like. And oddly, I then felt empowered to go do what I desired.
I have learned through many years of living that we do indeed live in a Yes World. We are all supported here in any endeavor we desire. The universe says ‘Yes’ always. Our beliefs are always proven true. Ironically, we are the only ones that get in the way.
As Albert Einstein said, “There are two ways to live: as if nothing is a miracle, or as if everything is a miracle.”
Regardless of which you choose, it is your truth.
Go live your miraculous life. Enjoy the moments. Laugh. Sing. Smile. Love Deeply. Live with Gratitude. Emerge Positive.
Positively,
Deanne
