It wasn’t until I reached my 30’s that I realized many of my beliefs weren’t actually mine.
They were borrowed — absorbed from my parents, my upbringing, my culture.
I wore them like a uniform, never stopping to ask if they still fit.
It wasn’t until my life completely fell apart, that I began to see the difference between what I’d been taught to believe and what I actually believed.
That realization was painful and freeing.
And it changed everything about how I saw myself and the world around me.
When you investigate your inherited beliefs, it forces you to get to know the person you’ve become. To understand how you are experiencing the world and to explore your perception of it.
Maybe without even realizing it, you’ve created a life you don’t want – simply because you were operating on the beliefs you inherited. And now you want something better. Something different.
But where do you begin?
Understanding the beliefs you hold about yourself is crucial to the path you choose to take next.
Those deeply held beliefs are what set the guardrails, the ceiling or the walls that block your success. So understanding them is important.
Your negative core beliefs are what hold you back.
Here are a few examples of negative core beliefs we carry around with us:
- I’m not lovable.
- Money is bad.
- I’m not beautiful.
- I’ll never be able to do that.
- I’m not enough.
If you’ve ever struggled with the belief that you’re “not enough,” you’re not alone. I wrote more about how perfectionism feeds that belief — and how to choose a different path — in this piece
➡️ So if you’ve been single your whole life, but desperately don’t want to be, then listen to the soundtrack playing in your head.
➡️ Or if you always get passed up for the promotion even though you’re good at what you do, start listening to the negative voice talking to you.
If you want to create meaningful change for yourself, you must listen for the negative talk and then change the belief.
It’s frightening, which makes it hard to do. Frightening because it could blow up your entire belief system. Once one idea crashes, the others are all at risk. Like a row of dominos.
Personally, my first challenge was about motherhood. I had been raised that becoming a wife and mother is what I was supposed to do. But once I got into my 30’s, I realized that being a mom wasn’t my purpose. It honestly felt foreign to me. It just wasn’t meant to be part of my life.
And as soon as I realized and embraced that, I felt relieved. The binding of that belief was finally removed. And I felt better…happier….more myself.
Take responsibility for your Joy.
We are living in a very emotionally charged time. Fear and anger are ruling the day.
And it is taking a toll on you and me.
I know you feel the heaviness. The heartache. The sadness. The frustration. I do too.
No one wants to live this way. But here’s the truth — you don’t have to carry that weight.
Make the choice right now to fix your shit and get on with a joyful life.
Stop waiting for others to do it for you.
Stop waiting for the chaos of this world to stop so you can be happy.
And start working on your well-being right now.
Here’s a few things to get you started:
- Set boundaries. Make time for yourself, your hobbies, and time with your people.
- Aim for balance. Some days will tip more towards work, some more to family, and others to the necessities in life. Don’t make yourself wrong, find your flow.
- Be kind to yourself. Stop the negative tape in your head. When you catch yourself (and you will), change the channel.
- Make sure your biggest enemy is not in-between your own ears. Yes, you can do it! You are enough! You are special! Make it your mantra and say it over and over again. You Can.
- Love who you are right now. Not when you lose the weight or get the guy or buy the perfect house. Love yourself now, and start treating yourself like you do. It changes everything.
- When someone really rubs you the wrong way, don’t lose your cool. Instead keep your grace and dignity and simply say: “thanks for sharing”. It works!
Each of us has the power to improve the emotional environment we are all living in.
The more we question our own perceptions, the less threatened we feel by someone else’s.
And that awareness can be the beginning of a life worth living….and enjoying.
You Can Emerge Positive!
Positively,
deanne
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