Love is in the air. Everywhere I look I see hearts… on clothing, purses, trinkets, candies… It seems like everything is in pink and red this week.
But as I get older, Valentine’s Day is less and less important to me. In my teens and 20’s it was fun, but now it just isn’t a priority. But since it is this Friday, let’s focus on the most important relationship in our life: the one with ourselves.
”To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” ~Oscar Wilde
It’s the longest relationship we will have in our lifetime. It drives our decisions and how we see the world. And that makes it the most important one that should have our attention, time, and nourishment.
And if you are single, your understanding of who you are, who you want to be, and who you want to be with, is of utmost importance in attracting the right partner for you.
Whether you’re in a relationship or not, understanding who you are is paramount.
When I first got divorced at the age of 31, I came face to face with the reality that I had no idea who I was, what I believed, or what I wanted in my life. It was shocking to see that I had just absorbed the ideas and beliefs of those around me without actually considering them myself.
Remember that movie with Julia Roberts called The Runaway Bride? In it, she realizes that she has no idea how she likes her eggs because she had always just ordered them the way her boyfriend of the moment ordered them. That’s a very simplified version of this, but it is a great illustration of how easy it is to not pay attention to who you really are and just be absorbed by those around you.
So once I saw this in myself, I realized I needed to take some time to get to know me.
How do you do that?
Start with asking yourself what you like and don’t like…what you believe and don’t believe.
🙋♀️ Ask yourself why?
❓ Start putting everything through the filter of you and question everything.
💡 Is this something that you truly believe in your gut?
👶 Or is it just what you were taught as a child?
📰 Or what you see on the news or on social media?
You will start to see a pattern and start building a true roadmap of who you have become as an adult. Not just being an older version of the kid you used to be.
The other important thing you will need to do is turn away from the world and tune into your inner self. Really listen. As Sarah Ban Breathnach advises, “Turn away from the world and recognize what it is that makes you truly happy.”
Life will indeed become simpler. Stop listening to the news. Limit your time on social media. And instead, be more in tune with You. Listen to your authentic self on which way to go.
Because this is your uniquely personal journey.
When I have done this in my life, it has resulted in some profound outcomes that completely changed my life for the better.
Lastly, as you do start this new relationship with yourself, remember to be kind. Treat yourself as you would a best friend. (Now I know that may sound strange, but we tend to be very, very hard on ourselves.) You do not need the negative self-talk. You do not need to put yourself down, doubt who you are, or what you want to do with your life.
Respect the process. This is Your Journey. And no one can create the map for it but You.
So start today. Your most important relationship needs to be taken out on a date! Maybe even flowers and chocolate too! 💝💐
And remember, you are never alone. So choose to embrace this week with a new attitude and outlook.
Happy Valentine’s Day to You! May your heart be light. May your week be filled with fun and laughter. Make it so….only You can.
You can Emerge Positive!
Positively,
deanne
📋Get on the list! Go here to receive the Sunday newsletter for your weekly dose of inspiration. 📚And get the Mindset Booklet for free!
