When was the last time you asked yourself what you really want?
Not what you need to get done this week. Not what your family needs from you. And not what makes the most sense financially.
But what do you want?
I’ve been thinking about this question quite a bit lately. I’m preparing this month’s masterclass for Beyond by Emerge Positive, which is all about living with intention and gratitude for the life that’s right in front of us. And next week, I’ll be leading a Design Your Next Decade workshop for the Healthcare Businesswomen’s Association, where we’ll explore what we truly want for the years ahead.
As I’ve been preparing for both, I’ve found myself reflecting on how much my own answer to that question has changed over the years.
When I was younger, I was always striving for what was next. The next opportunity. The next accomplishment. The next goal. I was focused on creating a successful career and building a life I would love.
And I don’t regret any of it. That drive helped me become the woman I am today.
But as I think about what I want now, my answer is surprisingly different.
I want to be more present.
I want to slow down enough to appreciate the everyday moments that make up my life. I want to enjoy what I’ve created instead of constantly thinking about what comes next.
Because I’m realizing that it’s entirely possible to spend so much time creating the life you want that you forget to fully experience the life you have.
And I don’t want to do that.
What You Wanted Then May Not Be What You Want Now
Think about the woman you were 10 or 20 years ago.
What mattered most to her? What was she working toward? What did she believe would make her happy?
I’m guessing some of those things are still important to you today. But I’d also bet that some have changed.
And why wouldn’t they?
You’ve experienced things you couldn’t have imagined back then. You’ve navigated challenges, celebrated accomplishments, learned some difficult lessons, and perhaps discovered that some of the things you thought would bring you happiness weren’t quite what you expected.
That’s part of living. We grow. We change. Our priorities shift.
Yet sometimes we continue pursuing goals we created years ago without stopping to consider whether they still fit the person we’ve become.
I think this is especially true for women in midlife. We’ve spent decades creating a life, and now we have an opportunity to consider how we want to experience the next part of it.
And perhaps the answer isn’t about achieving more. Maybe it’s about appreciating more.
I’ve been asking myself a question lately that has really made me think:
Am I enjoying the life I’ve worked so hard to create?
Because I don’t want to look back 10 years from now and realize I was so busy planning my future that I missed the beauty of my everyday life.
Give Yourself Permission to Want Something Different
Of course, your answer to “What do I want now?” may look completely different from mine.
Maybe you’re craving a new adventure. Perhaps you’re ready to explore a different career, spend more time with family, reconnect with an old passion, or finally pursue something you’ve been putting off for years.
Or maybe, like me, you’re discovering that what you want has less to do with changing your circumstances and more to do with changing how you experience them.
There’s no right or wrong answer.
What’s important is giving yourself the space to explore the question without immediately judging your response.
So often, we dismiss what we want because it doesn’t seem practical, because we feel guilty wanting something different, or because we think we should simply be grateful for what we already have.
But gratitude and desire aren’t opposites.
You can be deeply grateful for your life and still want to experience it differently. And you can be excited about your future while appreciating everything you have today.
Start With How You Want to Feel
If you’re having trouble answering what you want, try starting with a simpler question.
How do I want to feel in my everyday life?
More peaceful? Connected? Energized? Inspired? Free?
Once you’ve identified that feeling, consider what might help you experience more of it.
Perhaps it’s making more time for the people you love, saying yes to something new, or simply slowing down enough to enjoy the moments that usually pass unnoticed.
It doesn’t have to begin with a major life change. Sometimes the smallest shifts make the biggest difference in how we experience our days.
Your Life Is Happening Right Now
As I think about my own next decade, I’m still excited about what’s ahead. I have dreams, ideas, and experiences I want to pursue. And I hope I always will.
But I’m also becoming more aware that I don’t need to wait for the next accomplishment or milestone to enjoy my life.
The life I’ve worked so hard to create is happening right now.
And so is yours.
So this week, I’d love for you to take a few quiet moments and ask yourself:
What would make your life feel more meaningful and fulfilling today?
Maybe your answer will inspire you to begin something new. Or perhaps it will remind you to slow down and appreciate what you already have.
Either way, give yourself permission to listen.
Because creating a fulfilling next chapter isn’t only about where you’re going. It’s also about how you choose to live along the way.
Positively,
Deanne
P.S. If you’ve been thinking about what you want from this next chapter of life, I’d love to invite you to explore those questions with us inside Beyond by Emerge Positive™. It’s a community for women who want to live with greater intention, reconnect with what matters most, and create a life that feels genuinely fulfilling. Learn more about Beyond here.
